After many years of attempting to deal with my problems, I began to realize I was completely overwhelmed by all of the emotional trauma that I faced on a daily basis. As a result of my inability to cope with my life circumstances, I developed serious mental health and substance abuse issues. I could see that I was losing control emotionally and mentally. I felt completely alone with nowhere to turn. Like a never ending vicious circle my problems seemed to worsen as each day passed. I knew within myself that I was an emotional mess. I felt like I was on a wheel spiralling out of control. I came to a point where I realized that I needed to take some drastic action to change the direction of my life. Feeling completely alone, with no one to turn to, out of an act of desperation, I reached out to God.
As I look back on my healing process, I realize, all the suffering and pain in my life was very purposeful in leading me to reach out to God for help. It has been said that there are few atheists in a war zone or a cancer ward. When I was at my very worst, when I felt I had no place to turn, I cried out to the God of my understanding for help. To my amazement, God responded to my cries. A strong feeling of Spiritual Presence showed up around me and deep inside of me. I immediately felt embraced by a sense of Peace and Love. This loving Presence encompassed me and touched me to my very soul. I identified the source of these feelings as My Creator, The Source of my life and all life. Out of my desperation I took a leap of faith and was not disappointed. My life would never be the same again.